He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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