Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
