it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
