im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
