Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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