you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
