I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
