Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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