It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
