what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
