just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
