You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
