so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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