I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
