Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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