Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to make out with him forever
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
