I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
