If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
