She's JV to your varsity
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
