i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
