I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
