I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
