Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
