Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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