so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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