you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
