I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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