Yo dont text me then not text me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
