Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
