Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
