In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Houston, we have a blender
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
