I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
