Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
