I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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