Ambien. No doubt about it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
