She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
