Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
