My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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