Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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