...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
