So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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