just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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