i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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