Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
false alarm. still invincible.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
