This girl is more easily done than said...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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