He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
