you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
