before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You took a bar mat shot.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
