North Korea, Best Korea!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
