pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
