Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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