is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
