i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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